This Month, I Tried Something Different With My PMDD. I Rested.

And for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like I was fighting myself.

Every month, like clockwork, there is a version of me that I don't particularly like.

The version that's overstimulated by everything. The version with absolutely no patience. The version that gets irritated by the smallest things, snaps at her kids, and then feels terrible about it afterward.

The version that knows she's being irrational but somehow can't make herself stop.

If you have PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), you probably know exactly what I'm talking about.

And every month, I do what so many women do. I push through it.

Because life doesn't stop just because our hormones are fluctuating.

There are kids to homeschool, patients to see, work to finish, a house to maintain, workouts to get in, schedules to follow, and about a thousand other things that need to be done.

And I'm someone who likes to do all the things.

But this month, I decided to try something different.

I Did Less. A Lot Less.

This week, I threw our normal routine out the window.

Instead of our usual homeschool schedule, I pulled up the online curriculum and let the kids do their lessons on their tablets.

I didn't go to the gym.

I didn't force myself to stick to a schedule.

I wasn't constantly trying to be productive, get ahead, or check something off a list.

And I spent a lot of time horizontal. Like, a LOT.

I rested when I felt like resting. I let things wait. I gave myself permission to have a week where the goal wasn't to accomplish everything.

And you know what happened?

My mood was SO much better.

Not just a little better.

I wasn't nearly as irritable. I wasn't yelling at my kids. I wasn't walking around feeling like everything and everyone was getting on my last nerve.

I wasn't being the bitchy version of myself that I dread showing up every month.

I actually felt like me.

And the craziest part?

I didn't add anything.

No new supplement. No new complicated routine. No new wellness hack.

I just stopped demanding so much from myself.

Why Is Rest So Hard for Women?

I think this is the part that deserves more conversation.

Because resting sounds easy, right?

Just slow down. Take a break. Do less.

Except for a lot of us, rest feels incredibly uncomfortable.

Especially when you're a mom, a business owner, a healthcare provider, or just someone who's used to functioning at 100 miles per hour.

There's always something you could be doing.

If I'm sitting on the couch, I could be cleaning.

If the kids are on their tablets, I could be doing a more involved homeschool lesson.

If I'm not at the gym, I feel like I'm falling behind.

If I'm not working, there's probably something waiting for me when I get back.

Somewhere along the way, we've convinced ourselves that being a good mom, a successful woman, or a productive person means doing as much as humanly possible every single day.

Even when our bodies are practically begging us to stop.

And here's what I realized this month:

Sometimes pushing through isn't discipline. Sometimes it's just making things harder than they need to be.

The Science Behind PMDD and Rest

As a psychiatric nurse practitioner, I couldn't help but think about the science behind what I was experiencing.

PMDD isn't simply having a bad attitude before your period. And it's not necessarily caused by having too much or too little of a particular hormone.

Research suggests that women with PMDD have an increased sensitivity to the normal hormonal fluctuations that happen throughout the menstrual cycle.

Changes in progesterone and its metabolite, allopregnanolone, can influence GABA-A receptors, which play an important role in the brain's regulation of stress, anxiety, and emotional responses. Researchers have also identified differences in sleep quality, melatonin secretion, and circadian rhythms among women with premenstrual disorders.

A 2024 systematic review examining biological rhythms in PMS and PMDD found that sleep and circadian disturbances may be important components of these conditions.

And while we don't yet have strong clinical trials proving that intentional rest treats PMDD, it raises an interesting question:

What happens when we stop adding demands to a nervous system that's already struggling to regulate itself?

For me, at least this month, the answer was pretty significant.

Maybe I wasn't suddenly less sensitive to my hormonal fluctuations.

Maybe I just wasn't piling a million additional stressors on top of them.

Maybe not forcing myself to get up, get everyone ready, homeschool, work, see patients, exercise, cook, clean, and maintain a perfectly structured day gave me a little more capacity to handle everything happening internally.

It's one cycle, and I can't say for certain that rest was the reason my symptoms improved.

But I can tell you the difference was noticeable.

My Kids Didn't Need the Perfect Version of Me

This might have been my biggest takeaway.

This week, my kids spent more time on tablets than usual.

We didn't follow our normal homeschool routine.

I wasn't planning elaborate activities or making sure every minute of our day was productive.

And yet?

They had a mom who wasn't yelling.

A mom who wasn't constantly overstimulated.

A mom who wasn't snapping over things that really didn't matter.

A mom who had more patience.

And when I think about it that way, I have a hard time believing this week was somehow a failure because we did less.

My kids didn't need a perfectly executed homeschool schedule. They needed a mom who had the emotional capacity to be kind to them.

And this week, doing less helped me give them that.

Maybe We Need to Stop Expecting Every Week to Look the Same

One of the things I've been thinking about is how much we expect women to function exactly the same way every single day.

Same productivity. Same workouts. Same patience. Same energy. Same responsibilities.

Regardless of where we are in our menstrual cycle.

Now, I'm not suggesting women are incapable of functioning during their luteal phase, or that everyone with PMDD should spend a week in bed.

And I'm certainly not suggesting that rest replaces evidence-based treatment for PMDD.

But I do wonder how many of us are making an already difficult week even harder because we refuse to adjust our expectations.

What if we planned for our harder days instead of pretending they weren't coming?

What if we moved things around when possible?

What if we made meals easier, simplified the kids' activities, skipped the gym without guilt, and let the house be a little messier?

What if we treated rest as something our bodies might genuinely need instead of something we have to earn?

I'm Going to Keep Experimenting

I don't know if every month will be like this one.

PMDD is complicated. Symptoms can vary from cycle to cycle, and one good week doesn't mean I've found some magical cure.

But this experience made me realize how much pressure I put on myself to maintain the same level of productivity regardless of how I'm feeling.

And how rarely I actually give myself permission to stop.

This month, I didn't try harder.

I didn't become more disciplined.

I didn't push through.

I rested.

And somehow, I was a happier mom, a more patient person, and a whole lot more comfortable in my own skin.

Maybe the answer isn't always another thing we need to start doing.

Maybe sometimes it's giving ourselves permission to stop doing so damn much.

And if you struggle with PMDD too, I'd love to know: Have you ever intentionally slowed down during your luteal phase? Did you notice a difference?

Because after this month, I'm genuinely curious how many of us might benefit from giving ourselves a little more grace.

Clinical note: This is my personal experience, not a recommendation to replace PMDD treatment with rest. Research supports a relationship between PMDD and sleep/circadian disturbances, but controlled studies have not established intentional rest as a standalone treatment. PMDD can be severe, and evidence-based options, including SSRIs, selected hormonal treatments, and psychotherapy, remain important.

If you have questions about your PMDD, or would like other advice - be it medication, supplements, or lifestyle, you can start with our brief intake form thealchemy-institute.com/intake-form